Here at Radiant Brown Beauty, I share ways to enhance and improve your outer beauty – hair, skin, nails. But what about your inner beauty? Isn’t it just as, if not more important?
Many times we seek everything possible to make our hair shinier and longer, make our skin clearer and more radiant. There’s nothing wrong with using beauty products to make us look better and subsequently feel better about ourselves. Yet, when you have a solid positive view of your inner self, your external beauty reflects that automatically.
If you want to find your inner beauty, there’s one thing I suggest you do.
Stop comparing yourself to others. That’s it. The end.
You’re never going to have the physical features of the next woman. You’re never going to have the same skill set. And that’s OK.
This is something I’ve come to learn and am still learning. I didn’t make these statements to be harsh. I made them because I’m living them.
For example, I absolutely adore my fellow blogger, Shelli’s hair as well as how she runs her blog. My blog is a lot older than hers but hasn’t achieved the same status. (I’m being transparent now so be kind). Why? Is what I have to say not as interesting or useful? Is how I say things preventing me from connecting with ladies the way she has? No clue.
On a more personal front, I’ve run out and purchased products because Shelli (and others) said were thebomb.com (Shelli probably wouldn’t use those words. She doesn’t appear to have the ghetto factor that I have LOL). I’ve purchased virtually every hair product she’s reviewed because I wanted my hair to look like hers. What an injustice I’m doing to my own hair and to my own work.
Compliment Don’t Copy
There’s nothing wrong with trying new products or admiring the work of others. It’s fun and provides a learning experience. But it becomes disappointing when you try products or copy the style of another expecting to achieve the same results.
I still buy products based on the recommendations of others. I still observe things others do in business that I find fascinating.
The difference is I now do these things because I think I can learn a thing or two. I think that the recommended products will actually make me (my hair, my skin, my body) better but I don’t expect the same results as another.
I’m learning that in order to be happy with my external features, I need to first work on the inner me. And that starts with dropping the comparison factor.
You can’t really shine on the outside until you first shine on the inside. Finding your inner beauty is about embracing who YOU are, discovering the gifts God has given you and exercising them.
Thoughts?
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Kathryn Rayford (4)
Carla Mendez (3)
Devonee (3)
Francezell (3)
Mary (3)
I must say. I LOVE your blog and how transparent and honest you are with yourself and others.
keep shining and growing.
xoxo,
beyondblackbeauty.com
Rashidah Ferguson recently posted..SOUL2SOUL with Faith Hill & Tim McGraw GIVEAWAY
aww thanks Rashidah. If I don’t know anything it’s this…People can spot a fake a mile away. I just try to be real and be me. That won’t jive with everybody but hey that’s how God made me so….. Now of course I try not to offend people and also walk in love but it doesn’t always happen LOL
I love this post for so many different reasons! It hits home and sometimes that can sting… I use to pattern most of what I did off of what others did smh… As Ive gotten older Ive noticed more and more that I do that so Ive started to change. Also when I went no heat natural I went out an bought products that all the bloggers used to achieve their look… guess what.. the only thing im still using is Aussie moist conditioner! The cheapest of the bunch. I learned the hard way that my hair is completely different than theirs and that most of the stuff doesnt work on me!
i hear you. We live and learn. Funny thing is we never actually “arrive.” We just keep learning…or not
I like Aussie Moist. Terry LaFlesh recommends it as a good leave in for the Tightly Curly Method. It does work but it takes more than a day to dry! It’s very moisture intensive. I find I get the same results with fast dry time using Shikai Every Day Naturals. I get it at Whole Foods but I’ll probably not buy it often since I’m really loving Aubrey Organics…stay tuned on that post…with a video lol
Good post! As I’m potty training my son I have to remember to not compare my son and his progress to other toddlers.
JenJen recently posted..Eco Styler Olive Oil Revisit
Jen, I’m going through that exact same thing with my son. He has special needs and I sometimes feel bad that he is not doing what other kids his age are doing. What I should be doing is celebrating what he CAN do.
Michelle, I don’t know if I’ve ever said this, but even if I have, it bears repeating. You are an amazing mom from what I see and your love for and pride in your children shines through your posts. Though CJ has special needs, you seem to take them all in stride and with grace. Keep doing what you’re doing lady. Be blessed!
Shelli recently posted..Comparison Pics: A WnG Pre- and Post Layered Cut
Awwww, Michelle!! First, thank you for the compliments about my hair and blog. Second, this is a wonderful post and so, so, soooo true. Comparing one’s self to others is never productive. Like you said, we can learn how to enhance our own unique inner and outer beauty by taking a page from others. But, it’s always important to remember how blessed we are to be unique and that enhancing that individuality is where the true beauty lies! Who wants a clone?? I am constantly awed by the amazing variety of beauty in the women I see through this natural hair forum!! But, it would be self-destructive to compare myself to them as I’d always fall short. So, instead, I think of all the gorgeous hair and women out there as pretty pieces of fabric that, when placed together, form a wonderfully beautiful quilt of which I am proud to count myself a part.
Shelli
Shelli recently posted..Dawn of a New Era: Return of the Layers
Well said! I think it’s human nature to start out on the path of comparing ourselves to others. We just have to come to a place where we don’t stay on that path.
You cracked me up with the comment about the “ghetto factor” Michelle!! And believe it or not, I have a blog post planned on the same topic but from a slightly different angle. I appreciate your transparency and can certainly relate. The less we compete and compare, the more beautiful we become, in our own eyes and those of others!
I can’t wait to read your post. It’s funny how we could be thinking about the same topic in a different way
God tends to move like that; He’ll put the same concept in several of His kids’ hearts for a domino effect!
Alison Hector recently posted..All heads bowed